Today I am going to try to forget I have Lyme Disease. (actually I do that a lot) I can only do that because I can stand again, I can walk again, I can drive short distances again, and I am not nauseous EVERY minute, but a lot of the time. Do I still have pain? Yes. Do I still tilt and walk into walls? Yes, a little, and I don' drink...(but I can prove with all the bruises on my legs) Yes, I still struggle emotionally and mentally with the disease.
I'll tell you a secret: I am totally grossed out by the fact I have these bugs in my body. The first few years I really could NOT deal with it. It is sooo very gross. It was an emotional drain, and a mental issue, dealing with the reality of what was, and still is in my body. Of course after a decade + I have learned to push that truth into the back of my mind, and focus on things that make me happy. Even if it is watching the birds at the feeder because I am too tired or nauseous or whatever to do anything else. I have learned even more than ever, it's the simple things in life which have the most meaning. I've always appreciated the little things, but not like now!
It is a blue skied day in Maine and it should be in the 60's. I am determined to go out. Bringing old but nice clothes to a local store for consignment. A couple dollars is a couple dollars. When medical bills wipe you out, all of a sudden a few dollars has more meaning! I'll enjoy my day. I'll pay for it in pain, nausea, fatigue, etc., but I can go out! That's big for me.
